EXCERPT:
It All Begins With You: How to Feel Comfortable in Your Own Skin
You need to create passion in your relationship, and it all starts with you. It is important first to be attractive for yourself. This is not just about your appearance. It is how you feel about yourself, your self-esteem and confidence. Beauty has so much to do with confidence and feeling sensual no matter your age or body type. It is also about your emotions, attitude, and state of mind. Passion and zest for life are sexy! What truly gives you pleasure in life? What makes you feel sensual and feminine? Do you have daily rituals that help you to connect with your body and feel sexy? Most women I talk to do not. We can get so busy working and taking care of our families that we lose touch with our own femininity. If you work outside of the home, you may need to act more like one of the guys at work. In order to be seen as an equal, you don’t want to be soft and feminine or sexy in the workplace. Even if you stay at home, you are busy taking care of children, which is very feminine, but not in a way that makes you feel sensual or sexy!
Women spend a great deal of their time in masculine energy. When we are in masculine energy, we are in our heads focusing on ideas, chores, and problems to solve. This is not a frame of mind that is conducive to feeling sensual and feminine. It does not make us overly attractive to our partners either. They may appreciate all we are doing, but the spark of passion comes from our feminine energy meeting their masculine energy. It is hard for us to be in the mood for romance when we are thinking and doing. We need to connect to our bodies and tap into that core feminine energy. This will help us to feel more sensual, and it will get the sparks flying and the hormones racing. It is very important to quiet our minds in order to make the transition from doing all day to being when we are spending quality time with our partners. This is why having a ritual each day is so important. It is a signal that there is more to you than accomplishing things; there is also the soft, vulnerable, feminine side.
I encourage you to spend time every day looking in the mirror and feeling confident and beautiful. Learn to appreciate all the curves to your body. Learn to accept your body as it is. This might take some time, but keep it up until you feel sexy. Learn to replace negative self-talk with self-love. Do things daily to care for your body and to make you feel good about yourself. Men do not care about all the little things we see as flaws in our bodies. They probably do not even notice them. They love us the way we are and want us to feel the same about our bodies and to share that with them. Dress each day in a way that will help you to feel stunning in your own unique style. I encourage women to always wear pretty undergarments, even if you are the only one to see them. It starts your day feeling feminine and sensual. Purchase pretty bras and panties that you can wear every day. Do this for yourself, and if you decide to share it with your guy, that is an added bonus.
It is easier to tap into sensuality when we have a strong sense of ourselves and feel confident and beautiful. I want you to learn to take care of yourself. Take care of the details that make you feel beautiful. There is a sexy, feminine person inside each woman; she just needs permission to come out. This will look different for every woman. Find the sexy you that feels right instead of trying to hold yourself to some outside standard. Create daily rituals that take care of you inside and out. When a relationship is new, we take great care in how we present ourselves and how much attention we give to our partners. Then once we are married, we put in less time and attention. It really should be the opposite. Once you are married or have been together for a while, you want to put in even more effort into keeping your partner and the relationship.
Pay attention to your attitude as well as your looks. Beauty also comes from the inside. No matter what you do to the outside, you will not feel confident and feminine unless you feel that way on the inside. So what steps do you need to take to feel confident in yourself? Do you need to have more passion for life in general? Do you need to add something new to your life, a new hobby or interest? Do you need to take steps to exercise and eat better? Do you need to freshen up your look and start taking better care of your appearance? Remember that passion and a zest for life are very sexy! Start making small changes to add more excitement to your life and to your relationship. We have been taught that when we work hard, we are rewarded. That is true, and we should work to achieve those goals and have the things we want. But what about pleasure? How many people plan and make time consciously to have fun? When we do, does that fun involve our partners? Does it involve intimacy and passion? Our relationships should be safe havens, places to end our days with love and passion!
About the Author:
Lori is a Certified Relationship Specialist – Speaker- Author- Radio Host
Lori has a unique and passionate approach to love and relationships and believes that everyone deserves and can have the relationship of their dreams. Her mission is to provide you with the skills you need to have the unstoppable relationship you deserve.
She has over 28 years’ experience empowering individuals and couples to live richer, happier lives. She has an in-person private practice in Charlotte, NC and also provides relationship coaching by phone to people throughout the United States. Her practice spans the spectrum from dating and singles to working through divorce to renewing long-term marriages.
In addition to workshops, classes, couples’ retreats and a local singles group, Lori’s has a talk radio show called “Real Talk with Lori Davis” on Ivyberadio.
She is the author of Unmasking Secrets to Unstoppable Relationships: How to Find, Keep and Renew Love and Passion in Your Life.
Born and raised in New Orleans, she has a master’s degree in clinical psychology from the University of West Florida in Pensacola. For more than 20 years, she was a mental health counselor practicing individual, marriage and family therapy in Florida.
Now living in Charlotte, Lori is the mother of three daughters and is proud to homeschool her two youngest.
Information about all of Lori’s coaching services, other products, blogs, radio show and events can be found at www.lorianndavis.com.
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